Rule 12

 

Rule 12 states, "12% of people don’t like you." Seems like a harsh thing to say or hear, but there is true freedom in this rule. Let me explain.

12% of people don't like you.

There is nothing you can do to change the mind and attitudes of this 12% of the people you know. They're not bad people. You can't persuade them to change their mind either. We often know that some folks, “rub us the wrong way." We might say, "I don’t know what it is about her, but I just don’t like her.” Likely part of this 12%

The folks in this group don’t like your demeanor. They don't like the way you wear your hair. They don't like the car you drive. Don’t like the color of your logo. They don't like the way you decorated your office. They don't like the way you said something. They don't like you, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Quit trying to chase and please this 12%.

The danger is when we attempt to get in "good favor" with this group. It is a waste of time. You can change the style of clothes you wear, change the car you drive, change the neighborhood you live in; it won't make a difference. You'll end up driving a car you don't like, while wearing clothes you don't want, to a neighborhood, you regret living in.

The best thing is to be authentic to you. Do the things you know to be best for you and your goals.

I'm not advocating being rude or dismissive. Be polite to all people. Show courtesy to even those who don't like you. It's important to get along. Quit trying to please everybody. It's an impossible task.

Conversely, Rule 12 also states:

12% of people love you.

They adore you, and can't get enough of you. They want to know about you, and what makes you tick. These people want to be a part of helping you succeed.

We seem to know our top 12% right away.  We “just seem to hit it off”. You might say things like “I don’t know what it is about her, but I just want to know more about her business and why she does what she does.”

This is the 12% you can aim to please.

It's really easy too. These are the folks that genuinely think you have good ideas, plans, and make good choices. This is where it is best to invest your time and effort. You'll find it will feel authentic too.

It's normal to do business with people we like, and who like us. It's typical for these people to be comfortable colleagues. It's normal for the people in this group to want to see you achieve your goals. They likely want to assist you.

76% of people are not at either of these extremes.

Most of the folks in our life can be moved along an analog spectrum between uncompromising ends. This is where Rule 12 shows its real power.

When you target being authentic, thereby encouraging the top 12% to engage with you, you'll find the majority of people will also move in your direction. They'll see things they like, in you or your accomplishments, and want to learn more. They'll see you being genuine and give you some of their attention. You'll increase your success.

Ironically the lower 12% will likely ignore you. They will have less and less impact on your life. You'll feel freedom from the bonds of "pleasing everybody."

When we understand the power of Rule 12 and direct your efforts in that direction you will be invigorated.  Therein lies the riches of Rule 12.

If you are constantly trying to lure the lower 12% you will forever be convinced your efforts just don't matter. Why do we feel that we need to chase the lower 12%?  Let it go. 

Know how to identify your top 12%.  This will take some diligence to learn to identify these people. It will be worth it though, because they want what you want. They want you to be happy.

This article coincides with Episode 12 of The Acorn Experience podcast. Listen to it on your favorite platform.